Sunday, 20 November 2022

November 2022 - It is all about ‘time’!

I have neglecting my blog over the last three months but may be finding time to write anything interesting is the main reason for doing so? Well I have now returned. 

So what has been going on then? Not much, well not as afar as ‘me’ is concerned but not written about my Sparkle weekend yet, sort of got over looked! As for outings, so far one at the end of September with Carole and all being well meeting her this coming week too, which I am looking forward too. Oh yes, I met Nikki (from N.I.) too, she was over here on business but due to timing I could only meet her in ‘bob’ mode but never the less, it was an enjoyable meet including meeting her Manager too with the meal paid by them which was much appreciated. Before anyone ask's, she has met me before in ‘bob’ mode and is the only person who has done so for a meet, it is an exception. All being well Nikki is visiting beginning of next year so at least one outing as ‘me’ should happen. 

As for ‘Sparkle’, a good weekend was had with Janine and Carole as we just chilled and enjoyed ourselves. It was Janine’s first Sparkle and I think her eyes were opened in what it was all about in which she seem to enjoy. Well she was the brunt of Carole and mine wind-ups with her but she took in good spirits. At a personal level, yes I enjoyed it but afterwards I realise a whole weekend was just too much, especially staying two nights were it took longer to recover. So I have decided that future Sparkle events will just consist at best one day / one night only which will be enough for me. 

Strangely having now retired I seem to find less opportunities in getting out as other things in my life seem to be jumping ahead of the queue, some of my choice though! Reaching retirement age, I sense my priorities have changed as the little grey cells at back of your brain begin to realise that you are well past the half way stage of your life! You then begin to think you need to make the most of your good health times while you are able too. It is like spreading a thin layer of butter over a slice of bread but realising you may not have enough to cover the whole piece so attempt to make it go as far as possible - that is how I see things. Consequently, ‘me’ moments are not the main priority anymore as I have spend enough time waiting for moments / arrangements to happen. Well no more I’m afraid, I have not got the time! So it is now a 100% definite arrangement for an outing or nothing.

With ‘life’ in mind, I have recently gone through all my KD related images and deleted over 1000 images from my records as not relevant. Some of these included images with or of friends, some of whom have received copies before deletion. I suppose in some ways, this explains why I have been reducing the size of my wardrobe too, don’t need the clothes, so sell on eBay and use the profits on ‘bob’ things and stuff to such a great effect too! This has meant even less possible ‘me’ time available with my new toys and things but best of all I am enjoying it too. Coming into the equation is also ‘health’ reasons as especially this year, hospital visits have been more than usual and doubt they will get less as we get older! However, health wise I am fine with one possible positive has been my ongoing dry cough issue I have regular been suffering over the last two / three years and finally it has solved. I now take another daily tablet to eliminate that issue and life is so much better now. However, on the down side, my hearing is now suffering but at least I am able to solve that issue in due course with the assistance of the NHS. 

Ah the question raises with all of the above, does this mean no more ‘me’ in the future and straight answer to that question is simply no. Well, contrary to what some people think, you cannot stop being who you are or suddenly take the girl out of you, as it is there for life. Yes you can hide it for a while but it will come back sooner or later! Anything else and you are kidding yourself. So yes, I come out and play in the future but only when it is definite arrangements to be made, not provisional or half hearted attempts as I do not have time! 

Well that is enough written for now and hopefully between now and Christmas / New Year, I hopefully get out at least two / three occasions, fingers cross! 


Monday, 25 July 2022

July 2022 - Delayed outings and a new look?

Well I had plans to write another entry shortly after the last one was uploaded but somewhere along the road, I got sidetracked and anything I had in mind to write is now history and probably not relevant either. 

I did have plans to go out during June but home / personal events over took those plans sadly including a 2/3 week period were I picked up a non Covid virus from somewhere which included a very irratating tickly cough. Yes definity not was Covid as I have been tested but are the tests accurate though? Anyway, I much better now although still not 100% but then again at this stage of my life, probably never be 100% I suppose.  

Over recent months, I have manage to keep in contact with some friends including a new one who I came across online in March.  However, one girl whose name I will mention called Stella from Southport now falls into the category of ‘timewaster’ although I accept she is geniune, does go out and dresses nicely too. Due to Covid, I had come across a handful of girls who I communicated with and the idea was to eventually meet when things got better but as we realised that took two years. With Stella, we had regular communications, exchange images, seem to have things in common and also being local too, that at end of last year, thoughts were finally thinking of arranging  a meet. Thinking we were heading in the right direction, I had sent a message to her at end of January with common thoughts of a March meet! What happens afterwards, remains a mystery as I have had no response from her what so ever although I have followed my original message on two occasions but still no reply. My last message in April, Stella has avoided to open although she still visits a particular forum in question and is on there regulary, may be her profile is partially untrue? I know I have not said anything out of turn etc but cannot for the life of me think why she has done this. If she ever reads this, although unlikely, may be you take common courtesy and give me an explanation because it is extremely rude and most of all wasted my time. I think I deserve an apology but no doubt one will never be forthcoming. 

Anyway, we move on with something far more positive and there are geniune girls out there to become friends and one of whom called Janine I commence communication in March which ultimately led to us meeting at Sparkle. Although she does not live locally, it became clear with had things in common and hit it off more or less straight away. As many of us girls know, attempting to meet a new person is potentially fraut with many problems but in this instance, I knew enough that Janine was geniune and hoping she thought the same with me. Anyway, after a little encouragment, she decided to come to Sparkle for the first time and I would be her guide for the weekend. More of the Sparkle weekend in my next blog entry. 

I still continue to sell some of my clothes on Ebay, the amount of clothes are getting smaller and my bank balance is slowly increasing. However, I must admit I think some items are just not meant to sell so may be a donation to the local charity shop but for now, I will continue and see how things go come Autumn. By then, probably have more items to sell. In the meantime, I have purchase a couple of summer dresses with also Sparkle in mind, as well as a couple more box pleat type skirts too. Ah, you may wonder what the latter purchase is all about. Well, about nine months ago, I decided as I was now a pensioner, that I am going to gradually change my dress style to what some would suggest as Aunty / Granny style to take account of my age. I tried the look late last year in private, to see if it worked as well if it appealed to me too! Yes, it worked and I like the look which is based on a couple of my Aunties were they dressed with traditional blouse / cardigan complete with box pleat skirts. The latter skirts being knee or calf length has always been a fetish of mine as I love the style of them and especially when dressed with traditional 50’s / 60’s underwear and yes stockings too. However, I will make a gradual approach to this ‘new’ look as I now have the choice of clothes to acheive this mature appearance and just may be my first outing be made next month, sort of a test? It will interesting to see what the reaction will be!  Regardless, ceratinly for the time being, I will continue with the KD look as some girls call it and wear what is appropriate for where I going and who I am meeting.


Saturday, 11 June 2022

June 2022 - Finally back out once again!

Three months since last entry and the world continues to change and affecting everyone’s lives in one way or another but at least now ‘Covid19’ although it will never go away, is finally taking a back seat and mixing with people without the need of masks and distancing is once again almost the normal. At least that is a positive step forward but one of the few in the current climate. 

The world as we know is changing again all because of a handful of individuals who seem to know better than others but the fact of the matter they are just idiots, thick as two short planks, escaped from the aylsum and clearly they include Putin and Boris Johnson who is just a fool, untrustworthy and a lier! Anyway. enough of that! 

For me, the last couple of months has seen a vast improvement compared with the previous two years. Yes I have finally manage to get out once again and it could not come soon enough! Beginning of April, I met up unexpectantly with Angela, a girl from Knutsford and a nice evening was had but more importantly it was finally nice to get ready and get out again. However, the getting ready part took two days as I needed to shave so that was done the day before, strangely feeling better for it too. Then getting ready was to select an outfit but finally got there with a skirt and top! Although I had faith in myself in going out again, I had lacked a bit of confidence but something that will come back in time was my thought. Regardless the feeling afterwards from the outing was one of relief and needed to do it again.

Two weeks later, I had arranged to meet up with Carole who I had last seen in September last year but on this occasion we agreed to meet in the Village, Manchester being sort of half way point between us. We met to late afternoon and had tea at the Richmond Tea Rooms which had moved since I last visited the Village, some two and half years ago! What other changes would there be? The reason for the early meeting time as Carole had work the following day so no late night stay up as such. However, I had already got out of practice of having late nights and I must admit the thought of late night after midnight is not something I fancied anyway! Being a little older, I am not sure my body, let alone brain would entertain the idea. Having selected a straight everyday dress for my outfit, Carole and I had a good time, lovely food at Richmond Tea Rooms, visited a couple of bars including Oscars which Carole had never been before. Unknown to us there was entertainment in the form of darg queen singer ‘Vivenne’ and we ended up staying there longer than anticipated mainly because ’Vivenne’ was a very good singer and kept us entertained. We eventually called it a night at 22.30hrs and ended home, well we had been out for over six hours already! As for the Village, there were people about, a few changes including new buildings on what was waste land as well as significant increase in car park charges too! Most of the bars / clubs were still there from 2019 but still 2/3 empty locations as well as the demise of Napoleans too. 

Unfortunately, I only manage to get out once in May but never the less I got out. Met up with Carole in the Village again, but this time on a Wednesday which was the traditional night at the Village for girls like us. Again we went to the Richmond Tea Rooms for tea at 17.00hrs and most enjoyable food too. After that headed to the Molly House as we were aware that other girls were meeting there and eventually there was about 15 or so girls, just like old times in the Village. Carole and I manage to chat some of the girls include Sarah and Sally. Afterwards we all headed for Oscars but the time had come to go home. As mentioned previously, late nights are just not quite in me again and Carole was working following morning. So once again, a good night was had  and now getting back into the swing of things once again. 

Well that is enough for this entry, although I have more to write but that become my next blog entry in due course. For now I will look forward to my next outing later this month. 

Tuesday, 29 March 2022

March 2022 - Life moves slowly upwards.

It has been four months since I have updated my blog but the reality, not much to write about when personal priorities are elsewhere. In those months and on the positive side, family life matters have improved, thankfully on a slow upward scale but with more time and patience, we will get there, that I am sure. Since my last entry, M.R. and I have now retired, work / employment is now a thing of the past and has become history. Do either of us miss it, we let you know when we stop laughing! Just say good riddens as we start another chapter in our lives. The thing is, were are we in our ongoing book, certainly long past the mid way point but are we near the end though? 

As for general life, well Covid restrictions are now lifted and life is gradually returning to a new normal, were we start to live with the Covid virus along with the changing world too which is having an effect on everyone and it be sometime (if ever) things will calm down. May be the start of a 'new' world and not necessarily one that we may like. However, that is my serious thought were I will leave it to others to ramble on about the rights and wrongs of our confused world. Well you don’t need to read about it here when you have social media if you want the latest updates. Time to move on …..

Now things are settling down in my world were I am able to be in the position to get out again as it has been too long. So since beginning of this month, I have had the time and opportunity to get out but hey ho, nothing doing! As mentioned before, I have kept in contact with some girls and was thinking that at last we could meet up but attempting to think about let alone arranging a meeting is proving difficult to say the least. Part of the reason, lack of communication or when there is, it is slow in receiving. I accept we all have our own lives to lead and being who we are does come secondary but I was really hoping I would of been out by now!

As I have previously mentioned on a few occasions, I do not enjoy going out on my own, there is no fun in that but I know other girls will say otherwise. Going out on speculation has never done it for me and always feel let down afterwards! Currently, I feel a little sceptical about the future as I have been down this path many times before where things have been said, yes girls say we should meet but when push comes to shove, it does not happen and it has been all a waste of time. I just cannot go through that all again, I will be extremely unhappy and annoyed if it happens were I doubt it will do my mental well being any good.

On the positive side, currently next month could be when things will happen as there are possibilities of getting out at least twice with two girls but as yet no definite dates made. There is still time to make those arrangements so fingers cross but I do have some nice dresses for starters I would like to wear rather than them remain hanging up in the wardrobes. Mmmm it will be novel getting ready to go out as it has been a while. Will I remember the routine and what to do again, especially when it comes to make up etc. Could it take all day to get ready and then too late to go out! Will have to wait and find out in due course. 

The other thing that comes into the equation when going out, is where and when during the day. With the exception of one daylight outing in September last year, it been well over two years since I have been out especially in the evening, therefore you got to ask the question, what changes have there been since then especially in places like the Manchester Village etc. Are the old haunts still available or have they been replaced or even disappeared all together? In some ways, it will be starting fresh again, you know the unknown and take it as it comes to see what happens. Also, not been out as such, to attempt to restore your confidence and manners once again, clearly I need faith in myself once again and hopefully everything else will follow. Yes the doubts are there but must face upto them otherwise I end up like countless girls, never get out and remain in the closet for ever! Nah I can’t do with that! 

Well that is enough for now and just say a very belated happy new year to all. xx

Tuesday, 16 November 2021

November 2021 - Life changes in a second!

It has been well over two months since my last entry and the title of this thread tells a story to say the least. Yes, life changes in one second especially when you least expect it! 

Well the good news first. Six days after I wrote the last blog entry, I actually manage to get out for the first time in 21 months, last outing being December 2019! An unexpected  opportunity arose with a new found friend Carole from Crewe, who I have been in contact for a couple of months. Whilst chatting with each other a couple days previously, I realise I had an opportunity to meet Carole during an afternoon and by chance Carole was free too. So we arrange to meet for tea and scones in a Garden Centre near Nantwich. Anyway, the day arrived and attempting to decide what to wear, along with remembering to apply make up too, the morning proved to be a challenge but eventually outfit chosen, make up applied and off I went. As for the outfit, well went for bootleg jeans, smock type top, short jacket, small heels and of course hangbag too for more of the everyday / casual look. 

After a slightly longer journey than I anticipated, I finally met Carole at the Garden Centre were we had a nice afternoon tea including sandwiches along with a good natter getting to know more about each other. Much to our surprised we had a number of things in common and along learning more about each others past. Soon enough, time flies when enjoying good company, it was time to say our farewells and head home, but not before agreed to meet again sometime in the future. At that time, I was thinking, at last I’m out again and won’t be long before another outing would be on the cards! 

Now this is were the title of the thread comes into play! A few days after my outing, my and M.R’s lives were changed due to an unexpected out of the blue family emergency which would change our circumstances for the short to medium term with priorities were now firmly placed elsewhere including caring duties! Our lives were completely flipped upside down especially we had been thinking we were beginning to turn the corner and things were now looking a bit better especially with the lifting of Covid restrictions, looking forward to our retirement and thought the worst was over after what happened earlier in the year. How silly to think like that and things now got worst instead. How life can be so cruel, but many many people in the world know that feeling anyway but you always think never happens to you. However, its life were it plays to your dealt hand of cards instead. 

So what has above to do with me as KD? Simply, the change of circumstances along more important change priorities means future outings are very much at a premium and realistically be next year before I may be able to consider an outing again. Sadly this puts meeting new found friends on hold for a while longer with the only possibily of an outing would be at short notice assuming I have a friend to meet with my past experience, highly unlikely it would happen. Strangely this opportunity arose a few weeks ago and met Carole again but more by good fortune than anything else. Another enjoyable outing never the less but I am not sure I will be so lucky again. 

So once again, things outside of my control dictate my femme life and it could be sometime before I make an appearance again. However, my (our) proirities are more importantly elsewhere and always remain so until back to some sort of normality. It could be a while! 

Friday, 10 September 2021

September 2021 - Going out?

It is now September and Covid 19 ‘lockdowns’ lifted so a sense of normality is coming back, well almost as it more like a ‘new’ normality. The harsh reality that Covid 19 has not gone away, still very much around and as I write this entry, the virus is on the increase again which is no surprise. Yes the Government is relying on vaccine to do its job, i.e. reduce the risk as well as about 85% population now vaccinated. Just leaves the other 15% which for numerous reasons, those people will not get one! Bottom line, we cannot remain in lockdown for ever but not 100% convinced we will not have another lockdown during the winter sometime? In the meantime, the Government and relevant parties now need to crack on with booster Covid jabs as well as the flu jab as delay it anymore will cause numerous issues, including an increase in deaths may be? 

I must admit, by now I thought I would of finally got out at least once if not twice to meet friends but guess, I’m still waiting (a song by Diana Ross I recall)! Oh yes, some past problems have re-surfaced again and its called ‘work’, mmmm no surprise there! Yes, I finally recalled back to work at beginning of August after 16 months on furlough and it was abit of a shock to the system! Consequently, I have decided to make some changes to my working life and this will come to an end next year. This should give more time to more things including being ‘me’! In the meantime, My opportunities getting out once again dominated by work schedules and finding the right time / day to meet friends which currently not crossing paths. Anyway, I am slightly optimistic this may change in the next couple of weeks. Fingers cross.

While there have been lockdowns, I did seek the opportunity to contact ‘new’ girls  and if you read my previous recent entries, you will gather that I have done. With the exception of a couple girls, friends of yesteryear have now become just that ’yesteryear’. As I have written before, I have attempted to maintain some contact with ‘yesteryear’ friends but no joy so I am not waiting around anymore and will now attempt to meet ‘new’ friends whom seem to have more common interests in what I am looking for. If you unsure what they are, simply friendly, approachable, courteous, good sense of humour, caring and similar tastes / view in the fashion stakes too. Oh yes, happy to meet too. So for the time being I am concentrating on new found contacts and making efforts to get to know each other better rather than seek any more ‘new’ friends. 

My sales on Ebay are still progressing albeit slowly and now thinkning of adding a few more items to be sold in time for winter. Looking at my wardrobe, still have too many clothes, so another sort out on the cards. One thing I have noted my own preference has shifted to towards dresses rather than top / skirt so may be that is where the hit will be? 

Health wise I am fine thankfully but both M.R. and I are still attempting to recover from the ‘void’ from our lives but very sadly we both realise we doubt that we will ever recover from it as everyday there are constant reminders, not just at home but when we go out too. Every now and then, something we see or hear, brings it all  back and more tears are shed in the proccess. God it is sad and it emotionally hurts, life can be so cruel! 

Until the next time, when hopefully I have news of an outing or two, all stay safe. x

Monday, 14 June 2021

June 2021 - Moving On?

To answer the last question from my previous entry, it is actually no! Still waiting to get out but may be that now be next month or August all being well even under current lockdown restrictions. As I write this, I will assume the Government have decided to extend the current (reduced) restrictions for another four weeks which I think is the right decision. I must admit, this does not affect me as I have no intention in meeting people in groups etc, as for the time being, one to one meets are more than acceptable especially in off peak periods. However, we will wait and see.

As for life in general, things could always be better but of late it has been difficult. Although I touch upon a riddle in the third paragraph of my last entry, things since then have turned as expected but not knowing long it would be and sadly our worst fears have been realised over two weeks ago. Just say, it has been emotionally heartbreaking and we (M.R. and I) have now a big big void in our lives and life will never be the same again. Currently I find this situation challenging on a daily basis with some days better than others, not knowing what the right thing I should be doing at any given moment, as my thoughts keep drifting away! In the meantime, I am also recovering from a recent small operation were it meant maintaining my distance from people, although that is easy enough in the current climate. Regardless my recovery is going better than expected.

On the Ebay front, a number of clothes have been sold already which is additional pocket money for the future but still have some clothes still waiting for bids. Time and patience, they will go eventually. In the meantime, I have been going through my past photo pictures, deleting numerous unwanted pictures but also coming across pictures that I had completley forgotten about, especially from over ten years ago! Some are now appearing on my photo stream in consequence. I must admit, a handful of them were better than expected and even I think they look at least OK if not good! 

Still in contact with my friends but we feel now, we are finally getting closer to meeting finally. Mmmm long overdue and I cannot wait now. Will I remember how to get ready, apply my make-up and look presentable? Hopefully I will but I imagine, it will take me a initially bit longer to get ready before the nerves start shaking before leaving the front door! I’ve forgotten what that was like! 

Well that is enough for this entry and may be good news will be written in my next entry, as and when.