Wednesday, 19 August 2020

August 2020 - Still in limbo!

Well, not a lot has happened since last entry, but we start with a brief positive, M.R. now back in work and everything seems to be working as far as social distancing and various safety measures in place too. However, alas as I am still furloughed and so unsure whether I do have a job or not.  Now with the added combination of being on my own while M.R. at work and outside world situation is no where near normality so trying to plan in getting out has it challenges to say the least and you got to keep thinking twice of what you can or cannot do while out too. However, with the weather not always decent let alone good, that option does not come into play and there is a limit on how to keep yourself occupied at home! Sadly all this is getting to me and not good for your mental health either. I am in a state of limbo and not even considering K.D. wants either! Strangely I am writing this entry because I’m bored and the reality I have nothing to write about! ;-)

As for K.D. I try to keep the kindle spirit there as such as clearly the outside world situation not improving fast by any stretch of the imagination. I try to keep in contact with some girls but some of them, just don’t respond, so why do I write in the first place! You know girls, it is about two way communication but if you don’t want to stay in contact then be ‘lady’ enough to say so, a simple message only takes a few seconds and then we can both move on! I really have given up, chasing after people, I don’t have time for it. Fortunately, there are two / three girls who remain in contact and there is some light relief there although I am sure, we would admit, going around in circles with some of the topics that are discussed! :-)) Regardless, I do appreciate our chats and messages, keeps some sanity going.

In the meantime, I have been thinking about how to get out and meet a friend or two in the current climate. One thing for sure, it is fraught with challenges and difficulties to overcome especially when you got other people to consider too. One thing I have concluded, a daylight outing is easier to encounter for numerous reasons due to social distancing measures, along with staying outside too. In other words avoid indoor places! Well it seems pretty pointless to make the effort to go out and then end up having to wear a mask. Yes, it has its advantages, but hey, more likely to blend in as hides most of your face but that defeats object of the exercise of going out! Evening outings are at the time, just too risky especially if going to Bar / Pub / Club / Restaurant as it is clear as the night wares on, social distancing goes out of the window due to the usual reason of drinking affects people’s judgement! So to me that is a non starter. Visiting a friend at their home could be possible but ‘we’ would have to be choosey who that friend could be given ‘family and work’ social mixing considerations too. Clearly, we need to create a ‘bubble’ to minimise the risk and knowing who we meet in the everyday world and if its only a few people, then it may be possible I suppose. The key is attempting to reduce the risk as much as possible and meeting outside, daytime seems to be the most likely option. However, how many girls do I know go out during the day, answers on a £50 note, thank you!  So as I have written above, it is fraught with challenges and difficulties but they are there to overcome. 

As already mentioned, I have not been KD, let alone been out this year, so unusually no images have been taken either. This meant I have not been able to update my Flickr site with some recent images and it is difficult to upload any images from the past as they have uploaded already! So my Flickr site remains in limbo too but I have manage recently to put one image up from over 10 years ago which almost I could reproduce the look today. May be with a couple of extra face lines but nothing too drastic which I find encouraging. There is hope for me yet! :-))

Mentioning 10 years, recently with time and boredom on my hands, I just realised how long I (KD) have been out and about in the everyday world and it is actually 15 years this month! Longer than I realise but also accepting the trials and tribulations in arriving at this point too. At times, it was clearly difficult, very frustrating but also rewarding on occasions. Met some nice people along the way too but also “indescribables” too, along with girls who you think they were friends but actually not, as they don’t see you as a friend! However, ‘our’ world is no different to the real world so no surprise I suppose. Interestingly, the last eight months, yes eight months, is the longest I have never appeared as KD in all that time and it could be still some time yet before I do! The thing is, will I remember how to dress, put make-up on and do other girly things too when the time comes? Who knows the secret of the black magic box some would say! :-)) 

So I’ve rambled enough now and I will finish this entry with the same words I started , I am ‘still in limbo’! :-) 

Sunday, 5 July 2020

July 2020 - No Change!

Well today is the 5th July and becomes Groundhog Day 100! Yes, M.R. and my self have been constantly with each other since 27th March when I was furlough from work. Currently still furlough until 30th July but may be get called in earlier along with M.R. too? One hopes in a strange sort of way.  We just take one day at a time but in lots of ways, the daily routine is the same but sometimes that depends on the weather though but regardless we have good relationship.

As for Covid 19 related matters, I will just say that the Government clearly setting a consistent pattern by working backwards with lockdown decisions they make. I had always initially gave Boris Johnson the benefit of doubt since he has been office but his/ their handling of this crisis has been woeful at best and the honeymoon period for the Government is now over. As for future, who knows what is going to happen but I do expect a general second spike (outside Leicester lockdown) due what ‘joe public’ seems to be hell bent on doing around the country. What a sad state of affairs.

As for girly things, nothing has changed and continue to be patient. I have manage to chat to a handful of girls on the forums and clearly there is a need to get out and meet but again it is in the lap of the gods as and when that may happen. Some thought has been given for August / September but that depends on the ‘lockdown’ guidelines at the time along on how I feel too. Wait and see I suppose. Yes, it would be nice to be ‘me’ again and may be make up for lost time, who knows. In the meantime, I have a look into my wardrobe occasionally just to remind myself of some of the nice clothes I have and yet to wear. Next weekend would of been ‘Sparkle’ but like all events, cancelled but yes I would of gone for Friday and Saturday travelling to and from home rather than staying overnight. Ah well, hopefully 2021 event goes ahead. 

Well that is all I have to write about, so until the next time, stay safe and take care. 

Wednesday, 22 April 2020

April 2020 - Groundhog Day!

My previous entry was a general view on the Covod 19 situation but this entry is about my current circumstances. Well, the blog is about ‘me’ afterall.

Getting back to my March blog entry and the answer, I never went out because of the possible risks which was proved a few days later when the Government finally brought in the lockdown. So this year has been a disaster with no appearance of me let alone getting out. Now as things stand, it could be some time before I will get out. The question really will it be this year or next year before I get out, I think it could be the latter somehow.

Currently, I am on Groundhog Day number 26 which is one way of looking at ‘our’ situation. I have been furloughed since 27th March with M.R. has been off work a week earlier for ‘health’ reasons and since then we just have each other for company. Fortunately we have a good reationship and so far we been ok with each other, supporting each other in different ways, as well as having patience too. I just go out once a week for the shopping, taking the social distancing percautions and making the outing as short as possible. So far it has worked. However, it does worry me, if I get affected as clearly there is a knock on effect which scares the life out of me! I just leave that there for now. 

Since we been together and with the routine been more or less the same everyday, hence ‘Groundhog day’ , M.R. did ask a couple of weeks ago, would I like to dress sometime which was nice and the thought was appreciated. Surprisingly I said no which some people would say ’what’ but for me as KD, I have always dressed to go out and not for home purposes. It is what I prefer and how I enjoy being me. Currently, I’m happy to maintain that stance as fortunately, I have other things to keep me occupied while not in work. Ask me the question again in 3/4 months time, may be a different answer? We will wait and see. In the meantime, my wardrobes and draws full of my gear will remain untouch, with the occasional look to remind my self what I have. One thing for certain, no reason to purchase any more clothes that is for sure! 

So far, I have had contact with three other people and we are just checking up on each other which is nice. Hopefully, we will meet again. As far as the forums are concerned, since the lockdown, I have hardly bothered with them, yes a quick look from time to time but that is it. Certainly my impression of them at the moment is what I’ve always thought, people living in fantasy worlds. time wasters and more bullshitters. Same people going on them which tells its own story so I will leave it at that. 

Well, I’ve rambled enough, nothing else to write and time for bed, prepare for Groundhog Day number 27! Please stay safe and take care. xx

Wednesday, 8 April 2020

April 2020 - Hero's and Idiots!

For the majoriy of people, our lives have been turned upside down in many, many ways for some more so than others. Yes, we are in the middle of Covid 19 virus pandemic very sadly and ‘normal’ what ever that was for people is no longer ‘normal’. For some, it is their worst nightmare, others they shit scared, some are hero’s although they don’t accept or realise it, others carry on if nothing has happened and some think it is a hoilday, thinking they carry on because they think they are super human and won’t catch the virus! The mind boggles were you certainly see the good and bad behaviour of human beings! 

It goes without saying the people at the front line, the Doctors and Nurses who go beyond their duty, in some cases sacrifice their lives for the well being of their fellow human beings, words cannot describe what we think but everyone of them through out the world deserve a medal but I know they be happy seeing people recover but also importantly, they make it to the end too. To me they are the HERO’s. However, there are many many other people who are risking their lives, some more than others to keep the NHS and the country going, they all deserve a mention and again our grateful thanks too.   

On the flip side, we also see the idiots, the people you seem to do not care about others and think they carry on life as normal. Either being oblivious and just choose to ignoring the seriousness of the situation, thinking it wont happen to them! What possess them to think like that, I have no idea but they certainly need a reality check and one way of that happening, is to watch a BBC news report taken inside a Intensive Care Unit on how the doctors and nurses cope and look after the various people who are suffering from the Covid 19 virus! It is hard hitting and you got to be impressed by the dedication of the staff but also feel for them too. Then you see the various patients, and you begin to shit yourself to realise how percarious life is! Talking of living on the edge is an understatement. 

Let us hope that at some future date in the medium term, we all come out of this alive and well, may be just may be, we will all be better people for it too - I wont hold my breath but I will hope though! Please stay safe and take extreme care.  

(PS: My next blog entry will be about my personal situation during this period).

Tuesday, 3 March 2020

March 2020 - Somethings do change sadly!

Woke up this morning and much to my surprise, I received a message from a girl asking if I be interested in going out tomorrow night, yes to the Village, Manchester. Well I been asking to get out and here is an opportunity! But guess what, I’m presented with this and sudden I have doubts within myself in wanting to get out afterall. Why and what is going on? Do or don’t I though? 

Regardless, today is not a good day sadly. Both M.R. and I are animal lovers and consequently for most of our lives, we had cats around who have left us with many happy memories. We always had two / three cats and recently that had been no different! Unfortunately, a month ago our female car ‘W’ passed away in her sleep age 15 years, she was the noisey one in the house and ain’t it quiet! So we were left with two males, one age 10 ’T’ and the other age 18 ‘G’ but sadly just two hours ago, we had to put ‘G’ asleep as his quality of life was not getting any better. ‘G’ was the most pacid cat we ever had, would not harm a flee, always looking for a stroke and a cuddle, did he get them, of course. Now he is no more and just buried him with ‘W’ in the back garden. Yes its raw and it hurts too. I’m sure we will get over it in time, we humans always do but thank you ’G’ for your love, kindness and happy memories. Now we concentrate on ’T’ who is now on his own and of course our wonderful dog ‘H’ too. Regardless losing two cats in a month is a little difficult at the moment. 

Just makes you realise, how cruel life can be and who are the worst ones, human beings of course, some who show no love, no compassion, give spite, unforgiving, are selfish, the list is endless yet animals are not like this. It does make you wonder though who are the real ‘animals’?

In the meantime, I have still an invite to consider but has fate intervene yet again in the light of today’s sad event? Now is not the time to consider but it does really make me wonder whether KD is meant to be anymore. 

Monday, 2 March 2020

March 2020 - Not much changed

Well a belated happy new year to all and hopefully you have had a good start to it too. Unfortunately for me, the start of year and now its March has been the worst start since KD has been going out! In simple terms no appearance no outings and nothing seems to changing in the near future either! 

Since my last blog entry, I have had one outing, mid December and that was to Carla’s (Cheshire Dressers) xmas party were about 20/30 girls received invites to have a get together for xmas. In the end about 15 girls turned up wih Carla being an excellent host. It was nice to see some of the other girls (from different parts of the country too) and a good evening was had. However, the usual thing happened at the end of the evening, yes we must keep in contact and arrange an outing. No guesses what has happened! Regardless that has been my only outing. Since then and within the last two weeks, unfortunately I was suppose to meet Carla last week but although I have attempted to contact her, first to firm the day was OK and the time too but sadly no response and same has happened with follow up communications. For some totaly unknown reason, Carla looks she does not want to contact me and I have no idea why. Any guesses anyone because I am none the wiser. 

In mid January I received three invites to go out at the end of the month, all with a few days of each other and I was looking forward to them too. Mmmm I thought at last, wear some of new dresses I purchase in the recent sales. First outing was to meet Nickie from Northern Ireland who comes over twice a year for the Northern Concord events. As the time was getting nearer, the dreaded virus hit me again but hoping i be ok for the meet with Nickie! Yes I met Nickie but I had to go in ‘bob’ mode as clearly I could not disguise my discomfort and no choice but to go as I had on last occasion (September) cancelled at the last moment due to ill health and was not going to do it again, so Nickie was ok with me coming as ‘bob’ instead. Fortunately a nice evening, meet and chat was had with Nickie looking nice and being sympathic with my health issue. I must admit it was strange for me meeting another girl in 'bob' mode but what choice did I have in the circumstances as I could not cancel again. 

Sadly my health got worst over the next few days and had no choice but to cancel my other two meets. Strangely after about 10 days or so, again after seeing a consultant on my follow up health appointment I was ok to get out. Mmmm but hey ho, nothing doing and still remains like that now.  This is even after I posted a couple of messages on two forums seeking new friends / meets but very little response sadly especially locally as such. Now I have no idea what to do for the future and in some ways, do I have one? I’m losing the will to be KD again unfortunately yet I enjoy being me and wearing my lovely clothes! What a sad situation to be in and I have tried too. 

Well that is the lot for now - will there be another blog entry, who knows!!!

Wednesday, 27 November 2019

November 2019 - Life on hold for now!

Currently life is on hold due to ongoing health issue which will sadly not go away. Mentioned in my previous entry about an ongoing ‘virus’ which I had for 4 weeks but it actually carried on for another 3 weeks afterwards! Eventually it went then 3 weeks later, hit again and still here now! But now realised it is not a virus although it does start it, it is more than that and now getting me down in a big way, let alone being lethargic and tired all the time. After visiting a locum doctor, not my usual doctor as she tended to ignore what I’ve been saying, I have an ENT appointment in the near future in attempt to get to the bottom of it. M.R. and I have an idea what it may partly be but  hopefully a diagnosis and treatment will be on offer. Until that happens, my life is on hold, let alone K.D. making an appearance. 

I am really hoping sooner rather than later, some normality will come back especially before Christmas, so I am able to get back out as I have receive at least a couple of invites to go out. It would be be nice to get back out I must admit, as I did manage to get out twice while I had my 3 week holiday from being unwell. First met 3 nice couples in the Village and enjoyable evening had with two of the couples who where by co-incidence from my neck of the woods. Hopefully meet them again? Also met up with a nice girl called Fiona from Warrington and headed for the Village, Manchester for the evening and an enjoyable one too. Fiona and I seem to have a few things in common and we agreed to meet up again in the future. Sadly my on going situation is preventing that but fingers cross, this will change. Right that is it for this entry, until the next time, take care all. xx